One week into post-deployment phase…

It’s all about sleep, sleep and more sleep… we are both recovering from the constant physical drain of the last 7 months. Everything else takes a back seat to sleep and rest. I took the week off from work, both to help Anthony assimilate and to allow myself time to recover. We are making good headway on that front. We no longer require naps to make it through the day, though both of us are still yawning and fighting droopy eyelids at 8PM. We have mostly adjusted to a normal schedule and Anthony is no longer getting up at 3AM each morning. We are slowly getting into some semblance of a family routine, though we will not truly achieve something close to normal until his downtime is over and we are both back to work full-time.

But that is for later. For now, he is helping with the house and kids as much as possible in part to relieve my “workload” and in part to dive head-first back into his role as husband, father and homeowner. I have to say he is doing surprisingly well with that; better than I had expected. The “muscle memory” of regular chores has returned quickly and despite an exorbitant grocery bill this week and a burning desire to eat out and enjoy every activity he missed, he is snapping back quickly. The main hurdles right now are some difficulty maintaining focus on normal everyday activities, making the stream of simple daily decisions and figuring out to get back to organizing your own life. The transition from a life where most decisions are made for you, days are planned out and tasks assigned back to “civilian life” where you are responsible for processing and planning your day is not an easy one. Freedom can be overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing; wear what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, say what you want. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

The more critical task of resuming relationships can be harder, but that also is coming along far better than anticipated. That is not to say it is without complication, but progressing well. The adult children and our youngest were fairly simple, mostly because change in their relationship with Anthony has undergone little change. The changes in Alexandra from a somewhat tentative 17 year old, fairly introverted, just learning to drive a stick shift to a confident young woman; an 18 year old high school senior with a very active social life, a boyfriend, constantly on the go with newfound independence is a lot to swallow. It is especially difficult for a, dare I say protective father. But he is being a trooper, biting his tongue and trying to stay on the peripheral a bit in what I affectionately call his reconnaissance, observation mode. He is getting the lay of the land and may seem to be laid back at this point, but make no mistake; he is watching… closely.

Marriage is a bit more challenging…more on that later.