Tag Archives | relationships

Clothing Revelations and Purging

By on November 15, 2010 in Change, Deployment, Fun

I have been so looking forward to this weekend for weeks. Saturday I took my girls to a boutique for a “style consultation,” which as it turns out includes a seasonal color analysis, for clothing and make-up, along with hints about hair style a few tidbits about glasses and style of dressing. I thought this would be a fun and memorable birthday surprise for all of us, little did I know how memorable.

Caitlin volunteers to get in the chair first. We are all astonished at the colors she should be wearing, not black and pink which make up about 80% of her closet. It’s hard to tell, but I think she might be in shock. Her make-up looks awesome though and she gets some new ideas. Alex hops in the chair and we are not surprised at her verdict at all. Her make-up looks phenomenal and she gets some great ideas also. I am another story. I am completely taken aback by the fact that I am apparently a “soft autumn” as well, though in the owner’s words, “the fairest of them all.” I am ashamed to admit that I argued. I have been masquerading as a winter all these years and never knew. I almost had a break down at the thought of giving up my favorite cranberry color. It’s pathetic really how attached we are to our ideas that we mercilessly cling to. We all laugh and she assures me that I can still keep my cranberry, but I have to pair it with Olive green or Marine blue. Oh, I forgot to mention, no more Air Force Navy. It’s all about US Marine blue from now on. Ha. It’s too much fun. What a strange and memorable day with my girls.

The aftermath

Sunday is all about purging, my closet, my drawers, it’s a purging frenzy in fact. Clothes on the bed, the dresser, in the bathroom. It’s a tornado of no longer acceptable, discarded clothing. Suits, sweaters, pants, t-shirts, turtlenecks, scarfs and more. Everything is fair game. It’s actually an opportunity for me to weed out those things that I really thought were wonderful, but I have not worn in years. I am feeling free and light. The closet has an echo and someone, somewhere who happens to be a different season or maybe who is blissfully ignorant of olive green vs. hunter green vs. forest green. Who could have imagined the fire storm of transformation? The best part is, you know what an empty closet means….shopping!! The great thing for me is that my husband, who is normally generous towards me, happens to be extraordinarily lavish while he’s deployed. Too bad I am not shallow or shortsighted. I could really take advantage of that if I was a little less scrupled and not to mention cheap.

I love Skype date night with Anthony, but by the time it gets to Sunday evening, I am exhausted and I can’t wait to go to bed. Whew. What a weekend. Meanwhile I still have piles of clothing on Anthony’s side of the bed.

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Clocks and Tennis and Friends

By on November 8, 2010 in Deployment
Time change at the end of Daylight Saving Time

Image via Wikipedia

We turned the clocks back over night. It is always so disorienting when I wake up and it’s not the time I think it is. I never understand when people say that we get an extra hour of sleep. My body wakes when it’s used to waking, it doesn’t watch the digital time clock. It’s just used to waking up around 6 and then society randomly declares, “Surprise, it’s really only 5,” but it’s already awake and so the process of readjusting begins. Who invented daylight savings time anyway? Was it the farmers, the government, a bunch of nerdy economists? Whoever it was clearly did not have young children or dogs that refuse to acknowledge the time change by sleeping later…

And so the morning of trying to ferret out every piece of time keeping equipment in the house begins. I always miss a couple of watches at least. It is when we go out to change the clocks in all of the vehicles back that we discover that Anthony’s Jetta has a dead battery, no juice, nada. Oops. I must have left the headlights on. My vehicle has automatic daytime running lights and I forgot that his doesn’t. Just what I needed. We have had more than our share of vehicular inconveniences. I know we have a battery charger, but I don’t have the foggiest notion how one goes about using it. Sigh. I’ll have to ask Anthony tonight on our Skype date night. That sure is romantic.

I have to attend Alexandra’s tennis banquet this afternoon by myself. I hate that Anthony is not here to go with me. He missed her entire senior varsity tennis season in fact. I am bursting with pride when the coach says that in his 16 seasons of coaching Alex is the nicest player, with the best attitude he has ever had the pleasure to coach. I should be over the moon, and I am but I am devastated when I realize that I can’t call Anthony to even share. This may not be a big deal in the grand scheme of life, but it’s just these moments that really hit me. It’s a day, a moment, a memory that he has missed. I send him an email and he’ll be thrilled and proud, but it’s not the same.

Ruth and baby Alex stop for a visit on their way back to Albany. Alex is so sweet and happy at 8 months old. We talk about our husbands and life, our mishaps and the things we have learned to do that we never thought about before. We share vacation plans and talk about the holidays and what we will do when our husbands return. It’s so nice to connect with fellow “military homefront wives.” We understand and relate to each other in ways that no one else can. We are a part of the extended military family and for that as well as the new friends this experience has brought me I can be grateful.

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Moving Day for Mom

By on October 25, 2010 in Change, Deployment, Emotions

Yesterday was moving day for my mom. I had been dreading it day for weeks, because I knew how incredibly difficult it was going to be, but physically and mentally. Along with my sister and her husband, several neighbors come to help and most importantly a very old friend from childhood brings a large farm tractor to lower the upstairs furniture off the deck. One of the difficult aspects of having a raised ranch with a split stairway is that you cannot maneuver large furniture items down the stairs. We have to remove a section of the deck and carry all the big stuff out and load it into the tractor bucket and take it down. It’s quite ingenious actually; sort of like a country style elevator. It might sound funny and definitely looks odd to spectators, but it worked. You have to love the small town country can do attitude.

It all hits me as I hug the man that I have known since kindergarten, but only see once every 10 years at our class reunion. Life is about connections, relationships and generosity of spirit.

It’s also about change and acceptance. The feelings of loss and sadness were never far from the surface as we moved the accumulation of some 4o years of a marriage out of the home that my father built; the home where I held his hand as he drew his last breath. The barrage of feelings are nearly too intense to subdue, but there is work to be done and life must go forward. My mother sleeps under a new roof, without the security blanket of those familiar surroundings that hold comforting memories. My heart aches for her and neither one of us has our husbands to hold us and tell us that everything will be all right. I miss Anthony terribly. I’m frustrated that he could not be here to help, to comfort and to take charge. We are managing without him, but it is a constant battle.

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