Tag Archives | relationships

What Do You Do When There Are Only Two?

English: lonely, unhappiness sp: tristeza, des...

Image via Wikipedia

It sounds like something out of a horror novel doesn’t it… But no, it’s trying to figure out how to adjust to the down-sizing of your family. In actuality the family is up-sizing in certain ways, we accumulate spouses, girlfriends/boyfriends and grandchildren, but yet the house gets quieter and quieter.

Our third child has gone back to college for the semester and Anthony is away on military duty for two months, and now there are only two. Elijah, my youngest, and I sometimes just look at each other and ask, “What do you wanna do now?”

Evenings are quiet, weekends the house feels like a tomb, but dinnertime is the worst. For a family that has always made it a priority to eat dinner together, the empty chairs are a sad reminder.

For Elijah, I think there is occasional boredom and missing the spontaneous visits to his sister’s room to chat or annoy her (pretty much the same thing.) There is also the fact that he is the only one left in “mom’s crosshairs” now!

For me, it is always lonely when the children leave. I have said goodbye to two that are out on their own now, living their own lives, and the third has one foot out the door. Now there is only one and I know that my time with him is limited.

It is even more difficult when Anthony is gone. There is the loneliness of the empty side of the bed, but even more, there is a knowing, that someday I may be alone. And for a woman who has centered her life around her family, that is a very sobering thought indeed.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta
Share on TwitterSubmit to StumbleUponShare via email
Comments { 2 }

Time Away – Necessary and Valuable

Rest and Be Thankful 1983

Image by Stuart McKenna via Flickr

We all need time away, to reflect, to restore…to rest. Why is it that when the opportunity presents itself we either obsess about it or push it out of our minds?

My husband and I have been planning a long weekend away for several months to celebrate our anniversary (and a bit of my birthday too since they are 5 days apart.) He missed both occasions last year (deployed to Afghanistan.)But for most of that time I stubbornly refused to research what activities we might wish to do, where we might like to eat, what I would need to bring and the arrangements that needed to be made (dogs, kids, etc.).

Why?

Perhaps it was because it was still in the future and I didn’t want to get excited too early. Perhaps it was too stressful thinking about arrangements and choices. Here’s another confession…I really hate making decisions…big or small…I hate them all. (We’ll dissect that another time.)

The truth.

I think that I was too darn busy and this was just one more item to add to my already burgeoning to-do list. How many of you feel that same way? C’mon be honest.

Planning your vacation turns out to be so stressful that you end up not enjoying it.

Thinking about upcoming celebrations puts you over the edge; gifts, food, invitations, shopping, too much to think about!– birthday parties, entertaining, Christmas…(Don’t even go there, I’m getting hives.)

You have a long weekend coming up so in preparation you work 10 hour days to get everything done and you’re too exhausted to enjoy your time away.

Or while you’re on your break away, you can’t stop thinking about everything you need to do at work, at home, when you get back and worse you’re annoyed by your inability to relax. (Wait…Maybe that’s just me?)

So, what can we do? How do we fix this?

I really don’t have the answer to this one. But here’s what I’m going to try:

I’m going to read some of my old posts on the importance of recharging, refueling, rest and relaxation…and try to take some of my own advice.

I’m going to remind myself that I am lucky to have a husband and partner that I truly enjoy spending time with and further that he and our relationship deserves my time and attention (more of taking my own coaching advice.)

I am going to take a deep breath and unplug… totally. I sense a bit of anxiety just writing that…must be social connection & technology withdrawal anticipation(might have to toss in a Facebook or Twitter mobile pic upload.) (I really must listen to my own coaching more often!)

Wish me luck! And if you have any advice to toss my way…please…feel free.

Share on TwitterSubmit to StumbleUponShare via email
Comments { 2 }

One Year Ago: Disappointment, Food and Fun – Not Your Average Weekend

Pralines & Cream handmade soap by Sweet Olive ...

Image by MissMalaprop via Flickr

It’s hard to imagine how different our lives were in some respects, yet how much the same in others. As we went to our favorite Craft Days again this year, I reflected on the year that has passed.

One year ago today:

It has been a whirlwind of vivid life in motion the last few days. Anthony missed a Skype call with Elijah which left us disappointed and worried. It turns out he had a mix-up in his schedule, that could honestly have been avoided. I was so angry that I hardly spoke to him for a day or so, which is sort of tricky via email. The sight of my son sitting at the computer with his headphones on waiting for his dad to call is just too much for a mother to forgive easily.

Caitlin came home from college for a quick visit on Sunday and I took my kids and “peanut,” known to the rest of the world as my niece Julianna, to the local craft days. We look forward to it every year; the kettle corn, the pumpkin fudge, the glazed almonds, the variety of handmade creations. It’s always about the food for us, but I do leave with enough handmade soap to last me six months.

The highlight of my day is when Anthony and Elijah are having their call on Skype and apparently Elijah has decided he needs help with his homework. The sight of my baby doing his social studies homework with his dad via Skype from 7,000 miles away is just hard to wrap my brain around. It’s one of those moments where you can’t decide if you want to laugh or cry because it is so sweet, so I cover all of my bases and do both. It almost makes up for the missed Skype call incident. Almost…

Share on TwitterSubmit to StumbleUponShare via email
Comments { 0 }