Tag Archives | national guard

Hometown Heroes, Soccer and Sickness

By on October 9, 2010 in Deployment, Food, Fun

Whew! Busy, tiring day. I wake after a restless night’s sleep. We have to be in Syracuse early for the Hometown Heroes Run. I have been asked to give a brief interview before the race. They ask how I feel about racing here in Syracuse while my husband and other members of the 174th are simultaneously racing in Afghanistan. That’s both easy and complicated; proud of my husband, honored to be a part of the extended military family and overwhelmed by emotion. My heart is beating so fast during the race and I just can’t seem to settle into a rhythm. I think it is a combination of excitement and emotion. I struggle quite a bit the first mile, but before I know we are on the home stretch and it is done. My time is respectable for me, but more importantly I did it. That’s all that really matters. I chat with the base commander, say my goodbyes and head for home.

It’s Saturday and that means chores, maintenance and soccer. My cold is getting worse and I did something to hurt my back. I have no idea what. How is that possible? The last thing I want to do is sit in the cold wind to watch a soccer game, but since Anthony is gone and I’m the only parent I feel as though I must. I really just want to collapse on the couch, but I have promised the kids we could go out to dinner and I hate to break a promise. It is fun and I enjoy spending time with my kids, but I am glad when we finally get home. I head to the couch with a heating pad and some tea and hope that I will feel better tomorrow. I do not have time to be laid up.

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The Eagle Has Landed

By on July 18, 2010 in Deployment

I could not fall asleep last night – nothing new there, so when I get up at 7, I am utterly exhausted. This seems to be a normal state for me, at least for the last 20 years. I briefly entertain the idea of rolling over and attempting to go back to sleep, but first of all I have too much to do today and second, I know I will not fall back to sleep anyway.

We attend Daniel’s girlfriend, Liz’s graduation party this afternoon. It is so nice of them to invite us and I am glad to have something to do, but at the same time all I can think about are all of the things I need to do at home.  It is now a foregone conclusion that someone will ask me where Anthony is. Then that is always followed by the normal thread of questions. “How long will he be gone?” “Where is he stationed?” “What does he do there?” The hardest is always, “How do you do it?” My answer is just so inadequate, but truthful all the same. “I just do what has to be done, because I have no choice.” I sure hope his country appreciates what we endure for them. The sad truth is that most people do not care or even give it a passing thought. A few do however, the ones that matter anyway and that is enough.

Anthony sent me a one sentence email this morning to let me know that he has finally arrived at the base in Bagram. He is exhausted and harried, but settling in now. The six month countdown can now officially begin. A summer storm is rolling in and it suits my mood today.

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Un-holiday

By on July 5, 2010 in Deployment, Emotions

Today was a very strange day. It was a holiday for most since the 4th fell on a Sunday. If Anthony had been home he would have had a long weekend and we would have been celebrating with a picnic, but he wasn’t and we didn’t. Elijah started day camp today and the older kids were gone so I was left to my own devices for 7 hours and I just couldn’t relax. I didn’t seem able to relax or rest. I had trouble focusing, so I just kept finding things to do. I watered the lawn, went for a run, cleaned the exercise room, washed the dog blankets, organized the bathroom cabinets, vacuumed, and cleaned the fridge, the coffee pot and the toaster.

It was the toaster that finally put me over the edge. It occurred to me as I was cleaning the crumb catcher that there was a distinct possibility that I was trying to avoid being too quiet or doing too much thinking. If I could just focus on cleaning, then I would be in control and not dwell on the negative emotions that keep cropping up.

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