In my experience, there comes a time in each military deployment or separation, and I would imagine in some civilian ones as well, when the specter of frustration and resentment rears its ugly head. It’s time to bring this skeleton out of the closet and expose it to the light of day.

This usually occurs mid-way through the separation. The beginning is too fraught with sadness and anger at the necessity of deployment and the end is overshadowed by excitement and anxiety of over the impending return. But the middle drags and drags and with the incessant challenges and demands of parenting and juggling home and family and marriage become a huge burden.

The last couple of weeks, I have been feeling the slow creep of resentment building. He has one thing to do while he is gone, just one. This time it’s training and sometimes, it’s working in a war zone. I am left to struggle and juggle with 20 balls in the air, and no break.

I know, I know, sometimes he is in a modicum of danger, though is never on the front lines. And he is always lonely and misses us. I didn’t say it was rational, just how I feel at times. Honestly, I would never trade places. Being away from my children and grandchild would be unbearable to me…But I would love just once to only have one thing, just one thing to do.

I a recent phone conversation, we were talking about our weekend plans. He is deciding what to do on his days off and how to fill the time. He made the mistake of asking what I planned to do on my days off….I very calmly, at least relatively calmly, reminded him that, I DON’T GET A DAY OFF!

I have a career, a home to maintain, and children to raise. There are not enough hours in the day. When I have days off from my “regular job,” there is cleaning, laundry, mom taxi, grocery shopping, pet care, and children monitoring and so on.

Ok. Done venting. I love my children and my husband and my home and my life, but just once I’d love to only have one thing on my plate in a day…

Probably I’d be bored…