Tag Archives | garden

Make Room for New Growth, Even if It’s Hard

By on March 20, 2012 in Change, Life

It’s that time of year again. Twice a year, early spring and late fall, I gently trim…OK, ruthlessly hack…my bushes back to allow for new growth. And every time my husband shakes his head, utters something like, “Oh No,” and asks the same question. Every time. “Are you sure that’s not going to kill them?”

And I give him the same answer. Every time. “No, it won’t kill them. Cutting them back keeps them from being overgrown, removes the dead wood from the inside of the bush and allows for better new growth.” We have been having this conversation twice a year for the last 15 years or so.

I’m the gardener. He’s not. I do the landscaping. He mows the lawn. To be fair, in the world of grass growing, if you cut the grass too short it can die. That’s his world. But plants, bushes, flowers, are different. If you don’t cut them back, snip dead blooms, remove extra shoots and cull the older stems, they will turn ugly, overgrown, unruly and often eventually rot away.

In short, you can kill your garden with kindness. I understand the need for tough love gardening and I apply it liberally.

I know that my landscaping will look sparse and open in March, but by April, the buds will start growing and filling in. By May, the garden will be bursting with new growth and lovely blooms.

I am willing to live with what the outside world would consider ugliness, for season long beauty. But to my nature loving eye, this too is beautiful. Nature is comprised of cycles, as is life; birth, growth, pruning, setbacks, nurturing, getting stronger and growing in beauty each year.

My garden is a metaphor for life. Perhaps, that’s why I love it so much. I identify with it on so many levels. We are just the same. We grow, we prune our lives, we have ugly periods, and yet, we emerge stronger and more beautiful than ever before.

What a lovely thing!

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One Month Down

By on July 31, 2010 in Deployment

I can’t believe that a month has passed since my husband left for Afghanistan. It has a been a whirlwind of late nights, restless sleep, an endless task list, chores forgotten, frequent frustration and yes, a few tears along the way. It has also been a time of tremendous personal growth, increased confidence, support from family and friends and a heightened appreciation for the beauty of my imperfect life.

Lessons Learned:

  • It is the small everyday comforts that make all the difference – my constant canine companions, my children, the aroma of morning coffee, the soothing taste of freshly brewed tea, a home that I feel comfortable in, the orchid blooming in my office, a scented candle, stirring music, flowers in bloom, wildlife outside my window and supportive family and friends.
  • I need to ask for help – support is available, but people won’t know what I need until I am willing to ask.
  • I cannot do everything – it is physically impossible with the 24 hours each day I am given to maintain my past level of responsibilities while adding in my husband’s. I have withdrawn from some volunteer activities and paired down my load.
  • I must lower my expectations – it is all right if the floor isn’t vacuumed every day, if the windows don’t get cleaned this month, if the cabinets don’t shine, if the cars don’t get washed and if the dogs didn’t get their bath. Cereal can be an acceptable dinner as long as it is high in fiber and you add fruit.
  • I need to be gentle with myself and my kids – I really need to take time to be with friends and family, but time alone is a must for me. My monthly massage is no longer a luxury and painting my toe nails is not frivolous.
  • I am capable of so much more than I believe – I have always been a fairly strong and independent woman, but I have surprised myself by stretching in so many ways already.

    • Stepping outside of my comfort zone when my world in turmoil is a very scary concept, but it is in that space of uncertainty where I will grow the most and where my best life resides.

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    Beautiful Beginnings

    By on July 28, 2010 in Deployment

    It has been a quiet week so far, unsettlingly quiet. Elijah is away and that takes the noise and chaos level down about 20 decibels. Even Alexandra noticed and commented to me on how silent the house is with him playing, building contraptions, randomly singing and carousing with his friends. I sure do miss that little boy! He texts me updates from Long Island; we’re at splish splash, having a cookout, at the barber with grandpa. It’s like my own personal Twitter commentary and it is endearing and quite hilarious if you think about it. Yes, I really do miss that boy.

    I am sleeping a bit better, inching up to about six hours a night and still reaching toward that elusive eight. I took sort of a leisurely morning today, sleeping in until 7 or so. I really didn’t have to start work until about 9AM or so (I usually start around 7, but that is my choice.) I decided that I would take advantage of my flexible schedule and the summer weather, by drinking my coffee outside and reading my book at the start of my day instead of at the very end when I am nodding off between pages. The sun was just up, the neighborhood quiet, my roses blooming and life is good. It was a deliciously rare treat and it felt excitedly similar to playing hooky from school, which of course I never did so I am actually guessing how that would feel.

    If I could start every day like that, life would be just magnificent….but reality intrudes and that just isn’t possible on a daily basis, so I will soak up and marvel and this wonderful gift of a quiet and relaxed morning surrounded by my favorite things. Work was…well, work. I had a quick, but still comforting chat with Anthony late morning and then the periodic hair appointment, followed by more work, then an average evening at home with Alexandra. I finished the day where I started it, in my chair, on the porch, with my book, surrounded by my flowers and the sun slipping away over the horizon.

    My evening continued after sundown with prep work for tomorrow, email and blog updates, but really none of that is significant. Today was one of the good days and that is all that matters for now…

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